void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

Archive for November, 2010

it came upon a midnight clear:

Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 28, 2010

2010 marks the year of my 29th christmas. 29 years of christmas carols, trees, decorating, giving presents, making dinners, eating dinners & generally visiting family & friends. i love the shopping. i love the little *ping!* when you suddenly get an idea for the perfect present for someone. i love making holiday candy & cookies & wrapping it up in pretty paper & being able to give people little presents just because.

my favorite thing these past couple years has been my christmas tree. after just reading diana gabaldon’s blog posting (here) about cutting greens for the family advent wreath, i’m even more excited to get it. i absolutely love the smell of balsam & i’m more than willing to deal with the ever-present rain of pine needles & the various contortions one has to form to water the damn thing, just to be able to plug it in at nighttime & sit near the beautiful lights & twinkling decorations with a good book. smell the bark & the balsam. put some christmas music on in the background.

i drove past a house i’ve been looking at, that is for sale & they’d already put up their christmas tree (likely to make it look homey, it’s not occupied anymore) but it looked so sweet in the window. i love driving around at night & looking at christmas decorations. in fact i think i’m going to go hang some more lights right now.

merry christmas!


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i will not play at tug of war, i’ll only play at hug of war

Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 22, 2010

…i’m done. it’s the week of thanksgiving; it’s a time to be grateful for & love what you have. i am & do. therefore, fights & insecurities & anger & the like? it doesn’t matter. this week & especially the next month is about loving everyone around you & putting that aside. i’m excited to get my christmas tree & i’m grateful i have a good job & a comfortable place to live & food to eat, family, friends, etc – the people who’ve loved me for who i am. i have a lot. & i refuse to spend any time on anything else. if you have no holiday spirit, then get out of my way! (unless it’s to hug me lol)

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 20, 2010

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unicorns have passed here:

Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 16, 2010

but i said to myself, ‘ah they none of them know
the secret i shelter & savor & save
i wait for the one who will see through my seeming
& i’ll know when i love by the way i behave’

– ‘when the wine drinks itself,’ he said, ‘when the skull speaks, when the clock strikes the right time – only then will you find the tunnel that leads to the red bull’s lair…there’s a trick to it, of course. near & far, far & near,’ he murmured. ‘they are within sight of your lady’s eyes, but almost out of reach of her memory. they are coming closer & they are going away.’ he closed his eyes…one eye opened slowly, green & gold as sunlight in the wood. the cat said, ‘i am what i am. i would tell you what you want to know if i could, for you have been kind to me. but i am a cat & no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer.’…he purred in his sleep but he did not speak again,

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 15, 2010

if you judge people you have no time to love them

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 14, 2010

“i can’t fight or shoot a gun, but if it comes down to it, i can spit with deadly accuracy & force”

it was nice to get away; i wish i could have made it last longer. & then when i got home i cleaned the carpet, moved furniture. got out the christmas decorations. my life might be small, but it’s my life. it’s so dark out right now & it’s not even 6 o’clock. it feels late. & since you asked, i think i want everything but i don’t think i’m supposed to have anything.

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 12, 2010

jesus sometimes i wish i’d just get hit by a car or something…anything.

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 9, 2010

i just heard the absolutely most awful news story on fresh air this morning – a mom reading her child’s suicide note to her. a vet who served two tours, came home & couldn’t deal. & then he cut his pictures out of all his id’s, shot out all the mirrors in his car so he didn’t have to look at his own reflection & then shot himself. i wasn’t expecting this on the news this morning & it was shocking to hear. that poor man. that poor mom. i don’t believe in war. but i do believe that people can be hurt sometimes, beyond repair. i wish i knew who you were, so i could leave you some flowers. i hope wherever you are, you found some peace.

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 6, 2010

amazing – a night that i slept well – i dozed off around 10:30 & woke up at about 12:30, but fell right back asleep, which is unusual. i remember thinking i should get up & get a glass of apple cider, but was too lazy to. had a dream that i cut my bangs. woke up at 7:00 & was not overtired. there is nothing better than laying in bed & knowing you don’t have to get up immediately, that there is nothing pressing. made coffee, made scones, grabbed an echo in the bone & snuggled up for a while. of course, since i clearly have an issue sitting still on occasion, i decided to go into town & go to material objects…found a dress, found a hat. now i’m back home & baking spaghetti squash & watching wristcutters (one of my favorite movies). i love this saturday.

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“once upon a time there was a straight tree & a crooked tree…

Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 2, 2010

…And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, “You’re crooked. You’ve always been crooked and you’ll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!” said the straight tree. He said, “I’m tall and I’m straight.” And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, “Cut all the straight trees.” And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.”

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