void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

try to kill it all the way,

Posted by sailorstakewarning on October 14, 2010

spent the night last night shooting the shit & drinking with my cousin in his garage…needless to say this morning is a little rough. (he’s awesome, i wish he didn’t live so far away) everyone was moving slowly, even the ones who just went to bed & didn’t drink at all. so this morning i get up & just want to eat a little something & maybe read & have some coffee, but my sister’s bf can’t bear silence. & so he talks. at you & to you & to anyone or anything who might be listening. i can’t stand it. i need either silence or my music & to be alone. just leave me alone! i’ve been sitting in the corner of the kitchen most of the morning watching a movie with my headphones & working on a scarf for christmas. he’s tried to talk to me a couple times & i’ve just kept doing what i’m doing. i don’t need to talk & i don’t need company. maybe it’s awful of me, but i don’t feel well (my own fault of course) & i was just itching to take the car & take off. i don’t even know where i’d have gone – maybe to assateague or back over to salisbury. anywhere where i can walk by myself & no one will talk to me. i think the next time i come to visit or go on a vacation i will bring my own car. just the possibility of escape makes it a little easier to bear the tv on constantly in the background & the need to make small talk & to do anything other than sit & look out off the porch.

oddly enough, the baby & i got along really well while manda & chad were at the wedding. maybe because she made no demands other than the mere basics. food, sleep, an occasional snuggle. she didn’t cry once.

 

 

it’s raining today. the storm is moving up the coast so it will rain tomorrow at home too. & it’s finally cool here – cool enough to need a sweater or coat which is so much better than sweating our asses off because it’s 30 degrees at home & 80 here. so i’m listening to johnny cash & knitting & praying that my headache goes away; if not well then…i might just have to steal the car. i don’t want this vacation to end & as much as i’m homesick, there’s too much to go home to. maybe i just won’t go – just leave me here & i will work my way up the coast by myself.

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