void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

dear [guardian angel]

Posted by sailorstakewarning on July 17, 2010

…it is soooo freaking hot today & it’s not even as hot as it has been over the last couple weeks. i’ve avoided all things that don’t have to do with the ocean, air conditioning or laying on my couch with a fan & i’m still dripping sweat. still, i’ve managed to clean up the house, run a couple errands (err, thats where the air conditioning part comes in) & took the dog to mackworth island. i liked it so much i think i’ll take her back tomorrow. i’m trying desperately to find lyrics for a song i heard that i thought was completely beautiful & i think would be what would be played if my guardian angel (that’s you) were to appear in front of me. i’m totally just guessing. but the music, & the words just absolutely wash over me & echo what’s in my heart. i’d tell anyone what was in it, if i knew myself – my heart, i mean. you know, because you see me; there are people close to me though who know me so little they think they’re aware of how i feel & this is not so. how can they be, truly? & what i feel may surprise even the ones who know me best.

so i’m sitting here schvitzing because i’m too cheap to pay for a/c & thinking about how i didn’t hear anyone in public speak a kind word to each other today & how people i know are slowly destroying themselves loving those who don’t or don’t want to or shouldn’t or do for the wrong reasons, love them back, & what does it matter because it’s all love & that’s what we always have no matter what: love. & my family asks to see me & i don’t go because i don’t know why other than i don’t like crowded hot places (clam festival) & how absolutely wonderful it was on the island this afternoon, with no one but my dog & i. is that so awful, g.a.? after all, we all got a pair of wings that you can’t see, says jimmy buffett. way up high we feel free. now, even though i’m curious as hell & just dying to know, don’t give me any more than i can handle at once, ok? i think rebecca wells had it right, people are more like the earth than we know. the last year has left too many cracks, & i’m just finding the glue.

oh & i found my song. thank you = )


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