void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

keep calm & carry on

Posted by sailorstakewarning on May 28, 2010

every once in just a little while, i wish that i could be like other girls where, i could go after the person i want without any hesitation or concern for anyone else involved. maybe i’d have who i wanted now, maybe i’d be happy with another now. except i wouldn’t really be happy, knowing i’d displaced someone purposely & knowing how it feels to be the displaced one, i could never be happy having put someone in that position. the thing is, is in this case, it wasn’t my choice anyways. i’ve adopted a very basic principle in my life: if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. therefore: i finally like someone more than a friend, they chose another – let it go. because if it’s gonna happen, it’ll happen. it just sucks monkeys when you’re always the one who stands around on the outside because everyone’s going after the chicks who don’t care about other people’s feelings. i suppose pursuit of happiness is a right for everyone, but i just can’t pursue someone when it’s going to hurt another. seems silly when i’m constantly getting hurt because of it. but enough of complaining now. i’m just going to take a wee break from FB so i don’t have to watch it – masochism, you know.

work has been exTREMEly slow today; most are on vacation so they could have a 4 day weekend, & vermont was hit with a storm so that there are outages everyone & no new installs are getting done til next week. (oh darn, like i really have any sympathy for that particular state right now) but i am almost done, just another hour…we’re currently discussing the fact that this job literally makes you want to drink. like seriously – i have had so many days here where i leave & have a fireball when i get home, just to keep from stressing over everything i couldn’t do during my shift. also just because. who cares? there’s no one to notice & no one to care. my dog sure doesn’t. so tonight i’ll go home, pick up, walk dog, do laundry, maybe re-watch precious (EXcellent movie) &/or go to bed super early since my neighbors played video games from 10-11 pm with the bass up so loud it made the walls shake & interefered with my TV signal…it’s so nice out though, i really do want to get outside a bit. if only to work off a little bit of steam. i can’t wait for my treadmill to come! yay! then i can go home & run off all the stress of all the things i couldn’t get done for people during the day. have to remember i can’t fix everything! it sure would be nice if i could though…anyways, hello 3 day weekend, it’s nice to see your face finally. i hope you’ll give me some sunshine & even if you don’t, it’s ok too. tomorrow i’ll be out of town all day, right back where i started as a kid, where i learned it’s still cool to be a girl & like to climb trees & how much fun it is to canoe & kayak & to sing even when you can’t. i guess i haven’t changed much since then either ❤

 

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