void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on April 24, 2010

“although that bruja is long dead, i think i finally know what i should have written. twenty-eight years is a long time to think about why i loved you & it’s not for the reasons i first assumed: because you swam in the space below my heart; or because you staunched the youth i was bleeding out daily; or because one day you might take care of me when i couldn’t take care of myself. love is not an equation, as your father once wanted me to believe. it’s not a contract, & it’s not a happy ending. it is the slate under the chalk, & the ground buildings rise from & the oxygen in the air it is the place i come back to, no matter where i’ve been headed. i loved you, bethany, because you were the one relationship i never had to earn.”

what a beautiful day – i’ve already been out for a walk, been out for breakfast. done the crossword, stared out the window, talked to my dad. finished re-reading vanishing acts, which i have to say, is a wonderful book that grabbed me from the start. one of the few jodi picoults i’ve tried so far & one i come back to because it’s about a girl named bethany, born on june 5th. the other coincidences don’t matter anymore because they’re not pertinent. but that doesn’t matter either. island coconut coffee & sunshine on the back porch – sometimes the tiniest things are the best & sometimes they’re all i have, but i think they’re enough.


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