void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

warning – back away slooowlly. & leave the donuts.

Posted by sailorstakewarning on April 16, 2010

hooolllyyy hannah.

first of all, there is no coffee big enough. or rather there is, but now i am super jumpy & have to pee every 10 minutes. (what else is new). i left my dog home alone last night for the first time; she seems to be ok but did gak all over the floor. i never can tell if it’s anxiety or something caught in her throat or what that makes her do that. she’s been doing much better now that i put a lid on the garbage can lol. felt bad coming home this morning & then leaving again right after to go to work AND i’ll be out tonight too, but we will spend some time together saturday; maybe we’ll dog-park it.

weird week #2; have had a good time out with friends, but am surprised by the turn things take when you’re not looking. i kind of like that though – i don’t do well with plans; i like when things surprise you or fall into your lap. i mean, i believe in working for things you want out of life, but in this case…it makes life so much more exciting. or surprising, however you want to look at it. now my only issue is whether i can handle all these changes gracefully or whether i’ll stumble around like the ridiculous disaster i am. this is me: i cry at hallmark commericals & yes, i will throw things when i get pissed off. i can turn into a b****  & become disfunctional in 3.5 seconds if i’m too hungry. i am superstitious & believe in fairy tales & love art & music & poetry. i don’t read directions & am incredibly klutzy. i would honestly rather die than throw up. (not kidding) aren’t these the things we’re supposed to love about each other? aren’t our flaws, the parts of us that make up individuals, the best parts?  i love trees & the ocean. i don’t brush my hair. how is it that these things are enough to lower me in someone else’s esteem, but raise me in another’s? 

here’s a hint. when i disappear, i am waiting for someone to find me. but i always was terrible at hide & seek.

* side note: the nefertiti book has turned out well, but not something that shocks me to the core. i liked it, but wouldn’t be likely to pick it up again. we’ll see how the sequel rides…

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