void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

Archive for March, 2010

skip hence!

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 31, 2010

clem had the right idea. i’m a one person-person. not much more to it than that – either with someone or alone. & thank you, alexander pope!

Clementine: Look man, I’m telling you right off the bat, I’m high-maintainance, so… I’m not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you’ve got goin’ there. If you wanna be with me, you’re with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fucked-up girl who’s lookin’ for my own peace of mind; don’t assign me yours.

how happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! / the world forgetting, by the world forgot / eternal sunshine of the spotless mind / each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d.


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books books & more books!

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 30, 2010

my father gets the kim komando show emails everyday & sometimes forwards interesting ones to me. the other day he mentioned a kindle & why buy books when you can download them; i told him a kindle costs around $300, otherwise i’d be considering it. yesterday he forwarded me a kim komando email telling how to download kindle for PC – in other words, the kindle software for the computer so any books you download just get loaded onto your pc. ahn!

super cool – you can download it here; now this came out a few months back so forgive me for being behind the times & all…but i still think it’s cool =)

i’ve got a wishlist going in amazon’s kindle store already; the only thing though, is when i go to purchase a book, my knee-jerk reflex is to wait until i can have the book in my hands. not that i distrust amazon.com or anything like that; it just seems that books are their own beings. they’re solid, something someone composed. something i’ve taken around with me my whole life in cars, on trips, to work, to school. to not be able to just pick up a book & take it with me is something i’m not sure i want to get into. i could of course eventually purchase a real kindle, but it is an expensive electronic device & again, not something i’d feel i could take anywhere. can’t take a kindle into the bathtub. yes, i like to read in the bathtub.

so long story short, i haven’t purchased any books yet & don’t know if i will. but for those of you with fancy cell phones, there is an iphone app, etc. i may still yet start buying books online, we’ll have to see.

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several quotes from mr. neil gaiman that i thoroughly enjoy:

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 28, 2010

“what i say is, a town isn’t a town without a bookstore. it may call itself a town, but unless it’s got a bookstore it knows it’s not fooling a soul.”

“there are so many fragile things, after all. people break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.”

“remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that witches are often betrayed by their appetites; dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always; hearts can be well-hidden, & you can betray them with your tongue.”

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10 weird facts about me:

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 26, 2010

1. i love chapstick but consistently lose them. then i buy another one & find the other. now i have a rather large collection of varying kinds/flavors.

2. i can’t sleep without noise – but a fan doesn’t cut it. i have to have some kind of music or tv quietly running. otherwise i get busy brain syndrome & just stay awake all night staring at the ceiling

3. i hate capital letters. i try to avoid them if at all possible, although i will capitalize book titles, etc. however, when i handwrite something, i write in all caps.

4. i hate 99 % of condiments. i won’t eat anything with mayonnaise, mustard, salad dressing, etc. i do like bbq sauce, but it’s pretty much the only thing i’d eat on a sandwich or in something.

5. i light a lot of candles – i love them. but i have long hair & over the last 10 or so years, have still not learned not to lean over a lit candle with my hair down. i have singed off a lot of hair. burned hair smells awful.

6. m. night shyamalan & guillermo del toro are my most favorite movie directors. tim burton lags right after them.

7. i ALWAYS make a wish at 11:11 (if i look at the clock at that time)

8. i sing to my dog all the time. i’m pretty sure she just humors me by listening.

9. i dislike hot weather, but i am always cold

10. i am fascinated by disasters – plagues, tornadoes, etc. i don’t wish harm on anyone at all but i love reading about them.

this is my confessional today: i feel better; how about you?

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good morning,

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 25, 2010

it is bright & sunny – with frost. a typical march morning (it snowed yesterday, with the sun shining as well)

a quick walk with the dog – of course we had to stop & give EVERY kid waiting for the bus a good morning kiss – & some coffee & i’ll be hitting the road for work. i like to take a particular route so i can gaze longingly at a house that’s for sale that i want badly; it’s the perfect size for just dog & i. a yard for her, a porch for me & still in the ‘brook, where i had more happy times than sad ones.

tonight: plan A is to clean the apartment & snuggle up with candles & a book. Plan B is to clean the apartment & make brownies. or cookies. or maybe bread or something. i can’t believe how long it’s taken me to creep back into the kitchen after i mainly used my culinary talents for someone i loved; after he left it seemed pointless to cook. cooking for one sucks. & i don’t allow my dog to eat human food, so she’s out. that leaves my friends/family. beware, my co-workers! i will feed you until you burst!

i am anxiously awaiting learning about the healthcare reform bill; we are changing many lives with this, hopefully for the better. & with that, i leave you with this:

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“once again, i am on the rocks”

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 23, 2010

a fun night at a friend’s house – i love to cook but it’s wonderful to have someone else cook for me occasionally!

where i’ve gotten an influx of new books lately, *squeee!* i typically like to read one or two at a time, unless something really grabs my attention. this is what happened with The Lace Reader, by Brunonia Barry; it was in a bag of books my mother stuck in the backseat of my car along with several national geographic magazines, an incredibly gorgeous  scarf & i think, a couple boxes of crackers. clearly i’m easy to please.

i remember that i picked it up on a snowy day, right around the time we had some really cold weather & there wasn’t much to do but lay on the couch with the heat blasting & read.

“my name is towner whitney. no, that’s not exactly true. my real first name is sophya. never believe me. i lie all the time.”

from the first sentence i knew this would be a good one. sometimes it can take a chapter or two to get into the story, but this one sucks you in, & wraps you up tight in its web. this book haunts you long after you put it down. towner’s story of herself, her twin sister lyndley, & the rest of the family she tried to escape is so engaging in a dark & ethereal way, that the reader cannot help but follow them down into their spiral of religion & chaos. brunonia barry does such a wonderful job of creating towner’s sense of distance, without coming across as having no feelings or emotions. the mysteries surrounding the people of the city & towner’s memories are as full of holes as the lace the whitney family reads, & will keep you unsure of the outcome until the end.

this is now a favorite on my shelf & one i’ll go back to, again & again. you can find information on this book at brunonia’s blog – keep an eye out for her new book, the Map of True Places – mine’s already pre-ordered!

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i invoke you, almost deadly birds of the soul;

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 21, 2010

who, if i cried out, would hear me among the angels’ hierarchies?
& even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart, i would be consumed in that overwhelming existence.

for beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we are still just able to endure,
& we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.

every angel is terrifying.

& so i hold myself back and swallow the call-note of my dark sobbing.
ah, whom can we ever turn to in our need? not angels, not humans, & already the knowing animals are aware that we are not really at home in our interpreted world.
perhaps there remains for us some tree on a hillside, which every day we can take into our vision;
there remains for us yesterday’s street & the loyalty of a habit so much at ease when it stayed with us that it moved in & never left.
oh & night: there is night, when a wind full of infinite space gnaws at our faces.
whom would it not remain for – that longed-after, mildly disillusioning presence, which the solitary heart so painfully meets.
is it any less difficult for lovers?
but they keep on using each other to hide their own fate.
don’t you know yet?
fling the emptiness out of your arms into the spaces we breathe; perhaps the birds will feel the expanded air with more passionate flying.

yes – the springtimes needed you. often a star was waiting for you to notice it…

this is just part of the first of the duino elegies, by rainer maria rilke. one of my favorite poems, translated by stephen mitchell. more passionate flying. alis volat propriis.

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good morning, starshine

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 19, 2010

i haven’t lacked this much sleep since i lived in my college dorm. i assumed tonight would be the night that i could walk dog & then go to bed by 8 & just catch up; but i just got a call from mom that manda’s gone BACK into the hospital & who knows when she’ll go into actual labor. try to hold off til around 2, manda, otherwise i don’t get paid when i leave work, lol. i went downtown w/friends for st paddy’s & didn’t get home until 2 pm; then last night i went out with some other friends & we played skip-bo & talked until 11:30 so i didn’t get to sleep until after midnight. yay friends, boo tiredness! it was the kind of morning i literally had to drag myself out of bed & grope my way to the coffee machine. i’m pretty sure i’d be ok (at least at home) if i lost my sight because i can function fairly well first time in the am with my eyes completely shut.

not much sleep also means i haven’t had any time to read, which is hideous. i picked up Shutter Island (seen the movie already; i hope the book is far more substantial) but have barely had time to read the first chapter. i should likely bring it to work with me, in case i’m called in to the hospital; i think i have the Nature Of Monsters in my car as well. manda asked the other day whether or not i would come to the hospital when she went into labor; i said of course i will, you’re my sister! [also being in the labor & delivery ward means i am just less likely to see projectile vomiting or anything awful like that] i hate hospitals. let’s hope my own medical issues don’t pick up on all the extra estrogen & decide to spaz out while i’m in there.

hopefully, i will have finished a book to review soon, i have no weekend plans (except sleeping) so, dependent on our amazing maine weather, it will either be: coffee & reading on the porch in the sunshine, or coffee & reading wrapped up in blankets on the couch. i’m happy with either.

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póg mo thóin!

Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 17, 2010

ermm….i mean Éire go brách!

in all actuality, while i am not catholic or protestant & certainly not irish, i am fascinated by other culture’s celebrations & their origins. i have been reading about st patrick this morning, in honor of st. paddy’s day; imagine my surprise & excitement to find that in 2003, a group in ohio celebrated their own cersion of the holiday, dubbed “all snakes day,” to help snakes reclaim the day they were driven out of ireland. snakes, of course being “evil”

first – i’m just so enthused that anyone would think to celebrate anything to do with my beloved pets, colby & max; & second, i’m excited becase it was a pagan’s version/celebration of a catholic holiday. considering that st patrick’s master was a druid & pagan himself, i see nothing more fitting. too bad there aren’t any groups around here hosting their own – i could do with a bonfire right now.

so hoist your green beers aloft – to st patrick, to pythons, to sunshine & all things.

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on March 16, 2010

i will arise & go now,
& go to Innisfree,
& a small cabin build there,
of clay and wattles made;
nine bean rows will i have there,
a hive for the honey bee,
& live alone in the bee-loud glade.

& i shall have some peace there,
for peace comes dropping slow,
dropping from the veils of the morning
to where the cricket sings;
there midnight’s all a glimmer,
& noon a purple glow,
& evening full of the linnet’s wings

i will arise and go now,
for always night & day
i hear lake water lapping
with low sounds by the shore;
while i stand on the roadway
or on the pavements gray,
i hear it in the deep heart’s core.

W.B.Yeats is one of the first poets i remember reading. i’m very particular about my poetry; if i can’t close my eyes & see what the author is talking about, i find it hard to enjoy their writing. i’m extremely visual; i can see innisfree. i can hear the bees & the linnets. the lake. He wrote this with such a beautiful cadence, a kind of movement.. Yeats said “what can be explained is not poetry.” How endearing to me! The word interpret has been misused for so long, i think – it’s another vision, another opinion. what i see may not be what you see. so just read it & let the words wash over you, no explanation necessary. The Lake Isle of Innisfree was always one of my favorites & it seems pertinent today. The sky is blue & it should reach 50 degrees by the end of the day; almost unheard of here in march. but there are cars & trucks & fumes & all i want is to find a small place of my own that i can make my own. somewhere near water. i grew up by the ocean; i never realized just how spoiled we were until i moved away from it. that ocean breeze on foggy days…

all in all, i won’t mind an inauspicious tuesday, although i think Yeats will keep me company throughout the day. sometimes you need a little poetry-escape.  it’s also my ex’s 25th birthday; don’t think i have forgotten you, wherever you are, whomever you’re with. quarter of a century is a milestone & i hope you find what you’re looking for. is it possible to be soulmates & not be able to be together? i suppose, although it seems incredibly sad to me. maybe in another life, since surely all things return…

solitary soul. someday i will find an innisfree of my own. til then i’ll borrow Yeat’s. i’m sure he won’t mind.

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