void of course

the earth will swing us, as she goes

last night i dreamed…

Posted by sailorstakewarning on February 19, 2011

a house on wrought-iron stilts on the beach i grew up on
a children’s book with 3 barn owls on the cover
someone with 3 first names…

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last night i dreamed…

Posted by sailorstakewarning on January 19, 2011

i was going on a road trip with my sister. i had put all the clothes i wanted to take out, folded, on the bed. i left to pick up dog food, a childhood friend was going to take care of my dog for me while i was gone. when i came back, my clothes weren’t there. i was pissed, wandering around asking who moved my clothes & did they really want me to go on this trip or not? someone pointed out that they had been refolded & put away. then we were visiting someone i didn’t know & there were barbells (the body piercing kind) all over his floor & while everyone was visiting i was crawling around looking for a bead that fit one of mine.

then lexus woke me up by flapping her ears (been having itchy ears lately) & i laid in bed thinking i should remember this one. forgot it, until i got up to get dressed & picked up my clothes

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last night i dreamed…

Posted by sailorstakewarning on January 17, 2011

that i was carrying around a bundle of butter knives. i was bringing them to someone who was short on knives & i thought it would be nice to give them a set. it’s faded now; wispy, but i can still see them with an elastic band wrapped around them to hold them all together. let’s hope they weren’t fancy lol

dictionary says this symbolizes ease & simplicity. trying to give someone that feeling perhaps?

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colder weather;

Posted by sailorstakewarning on January 13, 2011

well it’s a winding road
when you’re in the lost & found
you’re a lover i’m a runner
we go round ‘n round
& i love you but i leave you
i don’t want you but i need you
you know it’s you who calls me back here babe

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on January 2, 2011

what lips my lips have kissed & where & why
i have forgotten & what arms have lain
under my head til morning but the rain
is full of ghosts tonight that tap & sigh
upon the glass & listen for reply
& in my hear there stirs a quiet pain
for unremembered lads that not again
will turn to me at midnight with a cry

thus in the winter stands the lonely tree
nor knows what birds have vanished one by one
yet knows its boughs more silent than before
i cannot say what loves have come & gone
i only know that summer sang in me
a little while, that in me sings no more

~ edna st vincent millay

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on December 13, 2010

something has changed.

what is it?

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on December 9, 2010

“the world scares you so you wrap it up in bonds of reason & education…all riddles are solvable to you except one: how could anybody love you.

the answer to the question you’re afraid to say out loud: yes. he knows the truth of you. & he is dazzled by that truth.”

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Posted by sailorstakewarning on December 5, 2010

oh oh i want some more,
oh oh what are you

waiting
for?

take a bite of my heart tonight.

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oriah mountain dreamer: i want to know what you ache for:

Posted by sailorstakewarning on December 2, 2010

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

how beautiful is that.

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it came upon a midnight clear:

Posted by sailorstakewarning on November 28, 2010

2010 marks the year of my 29th christmas. 29 years of christmas carols, trees, decorating, giving presents, making dinners, eating dinners & generally visiting family & friends. i love the shopping. i love the little *ping!* when you suddenly get an idea for the perfect present for someone. i love making holiday candy & cookies & wrapping it up in pretty paper & being able to give people little presents just because.

my favorite thing these past couple years has been my christmas tree. after just reading diana gabaldon’s blog posting (here) about cutting greens for the family advent wreath, i’m even more excited to get it. i absolutely love the smell of balsam & i’m more than willing to deal with the ever-present rain of pine needles & the various contortions one has to form to water the damn thing, just to be able to plug it in at nighttime & sit near the beautiful lights & twinkling decorations with a good book. smell the bark & the balsam. put some christmas music on in the background.

i drove past a house i’ve been looking at, that is for sale & they’d already put up their christmas tree (likely to make it look homey, it’s not occupied anymore) but it looked so sweet in the window. i love driving around at night & looking at christmas decorations. in fact i think i’m going to go hang some more lights right now.

merry christmas!

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